I love picking up a book, skimming my fingers on the hard edges, opening the crisp pages, and smelling the special scent a newly bought book. I love the fact that reading could bring me to an entirely different world altogether. The imagination, the thrill, the characters, the moments, the plot, the words, the feeling… The reason why I love reading a book is because of the different emotions a book can put me through. It’s amazing that something/someone fictional could have that much impact on every reader’s life.
How I wish my accounting and law books were like the books I found at PowerBooks. I don’t have to worry about memorizing each line each page and every time I would open my book on the last page that I have read, I would easily catch up to the story because I will never ever forget it.
“Who, me, Lord?”
“YES, you, I’m calling you.”
“But what you’re asking of me is too difficult. I don’t have the skills. I can’t possibly succeed at this. I almost forgot everything about it. I can’t do it. ”
Does this conversation sound familiar? Perhaps, you’re experiencing something similar with what I have experienced.
I have been praying for something very important for more than two years already. But none of the answers were clear. And whenever God speaks, I’m not paying attention to what He is trying to tell me. I don’t know why. Probably, I’m not ready for a responsibility or maybe I’m afraid. For more than two years, I left it hanging just because I thought it was too overwhelming and because I underestimated His plans for me.
Until one day, I ran out of reasons and excuses. And no matter how long and far I ran away from it, I always find myself on this familiar dead end contemplating what exactly I need to do about it. Complaining why I need to be at the same situation over and over again.
“Oh, am I missing one of the biggest moment of my life?”, I asked. Then I realised that I can never be a part of something wonderful that He planned because I am not participating and I keep on ignoring it. Everything was going smoothly to the way He planned it and I have nothing else to say but “Yes. I’m going for it!”
Many of us know the experience of being asked to take on a task that seems too demanding and overwhelming for us. We’re afraid of failure. We make excuses. But by doing so, we may miss the joy of being part of something wonderful.
Is God asking you to accept an assignment that seems far beyond your comfort zone? Are you afraid that you might fail? Are you afraid that you might succeed? Take heart! God knows exactly what He is doing. He knows the perfect timing for everything. He called you not because He doesn’t have any other option but to pick you but because you were meant for something wonderful. Because He knew and believed it that you can make it because He called you for it. All you have to do is to follow and trust Him.
…and so after how many excuses and constant battle, pens and notebook, we meet again!
I am feeling overwhelmed
Everyday with a super busy schedule, it’s the same things over and over again. I hardly have a time to drop by a coffee shop anymore and I have become so grumpy due to the fact that I’m losing a lot of sleep. I am longing for a sweet cup of hot chocolate, at least to compensate for my oh-so-stressful day, but at this rate I don’t think I would get any.
Staying this late at the office makes me crave more for sweets and sleep.
I’m feeling so overwhelmed.
I am trapped by the depravity of my own thoughts as I lay in my bed tonight. There are so many thoughts flying inside my head that I can hardly try to comprehend them all. But there’s only one thing I know for sure that I can only recognize. GRATEFULNESS! All those cares and sweetness that you have been undoubtedly and visibly expressing for this past few days, oh, there are just no words to describe how grateful I am for taking care of me. For showing me how much you love me. All those mushy little actions of yours, they are just surprising! I love how your voice automatically transformed into sweet tone when you turn to me. It just felt like we have just started dating but it’s amazing. It is kind of incredible when someone is making an effort to make your day and to cheer you up because of all the stresses, worries and problems that you’ve been going through, you find yourself helplessly smiling for an overwhelming feeling of happiness. Lovely!!
Now for tonight, I am going to sleep happy. Thanks to you!
God’s ultimate provision, outweighs human expectations
I have been busy writing about my best birthday ever when I realized that I have so many things to say and blog. It seems never-ending and overwhelming.
Ever had those experiences where you find something that you thought was “good and enough” and then all of a sudden God gives you something that’s so much better than what you thought you had found. As I have mentioned in my previous blog, I have prayed for something in my birthday. Though not specific, I prayed for a beach, fine dining restaurant, new perfume, letter, Bizu cake and some things. I know it’s kind of childish of me to wish for something like this.
Amazingly, my parents decided to go to Coron. It was a blast (posted a blog about it). Even before we go to Coron, my boyfriend and I went to Moa to watch my favorite fireworks and even took me to one of the finest steakhouse in the country, Cru Steakhouse that swept me off my feet; sweet letters; countless birthday greetings; sweet letter; extended birthday celebration plus one-to-one with Bianca; surprise birthday cake from my best friends and church mates; dinner with my best friend and most of all the privilege to share the Word of God with my small group.
Overwhelmed with so many things, I found myself stranded on my 10 pending drafts in my blog. This is too much to take. There are so many things to share. I couldn’t find the right words to express how grateful I am with all these blessings.
How could I thank you Lord? Even though I’m not worthy to receive it all, You gave it all to me. You answered not just one but almost everything in my wish lists. It’s all beyond my expectations and so much better than what I have expected.
Just when we thought we found something we thought was good, God gives us something so much better. Better than what we expect. I couldn’t thank you enough Lord. All glory belongs to You. This another year of my life is devoted to You and no one else. :)
When God answered your prayer, He will give you more than what you have prayed for. And when you have received it, your response will depend on your actions.
Now, I am really overwhelmed!! All glory belongs to Him.
The joy in goodbye
This 2012, I had to leave early every after service on Sunday because I have to spend my time with family. Just so you know, my boyfriend and I go to Church together every week. And it’s kind of sad to leave him at first because we usually spend our time together with some friends after service. I miss doing that now.
I know this sounds funny but I really appreciate how my boyfriend patiently waits for me to leave first before he goes home. I love it how he always volunteered on accompanying me in the parking lot to get my car even though he has an option no to. He always do that every time and I find it really assuring. With a simple “Ingat ka. I love you!” makes me feel secured and loved as if he’s assuring me that he would always remain the same even after we part ways. Oh, he never fails to say those heartening words every time we say goodbye and that’s really sweet.
You can always find joy and love even in goodbye. :)
The pleasure of doing nothing
Slouching on my re-arranged bed while listening on piano collection of Final Fantasy (which my boyfriend really likes) continuously playing in my Flyer, I found myself in an incomparable rest that I’ve never felt for quite so long. Reading my book that was once not my forte unexpectedly turn into something that calm my heart on a very quiet evening. Sometimes, it’s amazing how theses simple things can soothe my soul.
When you live a lifestyle that makes you move a mile a minute, finding time to sit still becomes a blessing. These are the moments when you feel like your seconds seems like a minute, and a minute turn into an hour. A sudden pause in your daily rush life is what you believe is the sweetest thing that ever happened in your life.
Staring blankly on a wide ceiling pondering on things that I believe really matters, I realize I’ve been enjoying those sweet moment for an hour already. Pausing for a while without wondering how early you were about to wake up for another busy day even though it’s 2 in the morning already, is something that I really miss. Carefree!
A day where nothing has been planned is indescribable, and I find, something that I treasure more and more each day. A four consecutive days of an empty schedule is nothing short of overwhelming. Staying in bed all day sounds like heaven to me. I just love the feeling of doing nothing.
* I was repeatedly listening to Final Fantasy – The Promise that night.
Oh, it’s Friday! :|
I was lying here in my bed listening to the sound of a cool whisper of the wind slowly entering in my open window when it came to my senses that today is already Friday. What?! It’s Friday already? I haven’t done anything yet except for the fact that I’ve been reading a lot of books and articles to keep me entertained. It was really a waste of time. That’s what I thought.
I’ve been longing for this sweet loooong break from work. Sometimes, it’s ironic how we tend to take these things for granted when in fact we should be thankful for it. I haven’t done this for a very long time. What a sweet escape from reality.
Being sick for four consecutive means gaining and losing something. And yes, I have lost 6lbs in just four days. That’s really depressing! For some girls, this loss of weight might be the sweetest thing that ever happened to them but for me it’s not. I’m in a business of gaining weight and gaining weight means sexy for me, mind you. After this day, I’ll make sure to gain back what was lost in me. Haha!
I’ve been complaining a lot with my boyfriend lately. I wasn’t patient enough to enjoy this break while he was working. I was corrected in a way and yes he’s right. I should be happy to have been given a chance to relax.
With the help of my unexpected long break, I was able to finish my unfinished blogs also. I have lots of pending in case you asked. Also, I was able to meet up with Bianca and was able to attend Worship Night despite my sickness. I wasn’t sugarcoating my sluggishness. I just thought that this week was not that productive but somehow I was able to accomplish some things that I need to do. Break-even!!!!
I’m back on track tomorrow! :D
Random act of sweetness. It’s payback time!
My boyfriend loves to surprise me especially without occasions. I must say that I am really blessed to have a partner who thinks that everyday is Valentines Day, my Birthday and Christmas. He’s really generous and knows how to make me smile. I was lying in my bed because I was sick for days when I realize that I am not doing anything to make him feel that I appreciate all his random act of sweetness. Even though I’m not feeling well, I woke up in bed and drove towards the mall.
My boyfriend loves to play games. To be specific, he’s a fan of Final Fantasy. As far as I can remember, yesterday was the said release (Jan 31). I was at doubt at first because I’m not sure if he already bought it. I’m not sure about the model of his console either. Geez! It’s really hard to buy something when you don’t know what you’re buying. Haha! I’m really not into it but I gambled with my plans. And there you go I gave this as a gift.
I am very much aware of my actions and I knew that giving him this, I would be ignored for several months. Believe me, he’s such a big fan. Haha! Kidding! I wouldn’t mind that for as long as I made him happy.
Sometimes, we (girls) must learn to speak the same language with our partner. In my case, he loves to play so instead of asking him to stop playing, I tried to support him more. I’m sure they would appreciate it. :)
Message for a wavering heart
“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord’, and do not do what I say” – Luke 6:46
I’ve been hearing words at the back of my heart as I re-read my handout as preparation for my day 2 of our one-to-one (personal discipleship guide in our Church) with Bianca. Words as if someone’s directly speaking to me.
I tried to lower down my voice, turned off my IPod and patiently listened to that sweet soft voice. I found myself smiling. It was God who’s knocking again in my wavering heart.
Chapter two is about Lordship. And I’ve learned that Lordship is a matter of the heart and it begins as an internal submission of the heart. If it is genuine, it will eventually manifest itself in outward obedience.
I was trying to put everything in my mind so that I wont miss any single details when I discuss it to Bianca. “I’m done with this anyway. I don’t need to put everything in my heart.” That’s what I thought but I was wrong. I paused for a while. I then realize that the message was for me and not just for her.
“You’re complaining because you’re not letting me in your life and in your heart. Why don’t you let me take charge of everything for you?”
“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord… “ – 1 Peter 3:15
God’s ways never fail to amaze me. His supposedly message for my friend turned into something that changed my heart tonight too. He touched my heart in a different way. I was again reminded of God’s faithfulness.
Sometimes we are shaken when things aren’t going to the way we planned it but if we put God as our Lord in our life and let Him take control of it, trust that everything will work together for our good. Be hopeful and faithful to God’s promises!